Joe Arpaio Detains Suspected Illegal Immigrant, Melania Trump

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Washington- Following a full pardon by The President, an emboldened Joe Arpaio encountered new legal troubles during a scheduled visit to The White House, after attempting to detain The First Lady on suspicion of residing in the country illegally.

While The President wrapped a morning briefing, The First Lady welcomed Mr. Arpaio and his wife to The White House and, following a brief exchange, was immediately slapped into handcuffs. “You talk funny.” Said Arpaio. “You’re comin’ with me, Senorita.”

Intending to settle the apparent misunderstanding, Stephen Miller explained to Mr. Arpaio that he’d accidentally handcuffed The First Lady of The United States.

“Son, I don’t care if she’s The goddamned Saint Teresa.” Said Arpaio, a stalwart opponent of civil rights. “If she’s here illegally, she’s got to go.”

Secret service agents eventually intercepted Arpaio and The First Lady on their way to the door. The former sheriff was held in a back office until his meeting with The President.

In a later statement, The Whitehouse announced The President’s plans to re-pardon Mr. Arpaio of all additional criminal charges. “Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a terrific guy, and The White House commends his initiative.”

 

 

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