Friday, December 13, 2019
Washington--Surrounded by reporters and Republican legislators gathered in celebration the passage of the H.R. Res. 63 "Disposal of Excess Land" bill, a relaxed, jovial President Trump made several lighthearted jokes about suppressing the media before "blindly pawing around his...
Washington- Facing widespread national backlash and flagging support within his own party, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced plans Tuesday to delay The Senate health care vote until after his summer molt. The untimely molt, which top aide, Jennifer Wiesman,...
Washington- Intending to swiftly end Donald Trump's presidency, California Representative, Brad Sherman (D-CA), introduced an article of impeachment to the Republican-held House of Representatives, assuring his constituents: "Trust me. This will definitely work." "I just can't believe nobody's thought of this yet."...
New York— After months of failed attempts, Fox Anchor, Tucker Carlson successfully held a fart through the 8 o’clock time slot Friday. “It wasn’t easy.” Said Fox Producer, Phil Stockwell. “You could really see the strain in his face....
Kittery, Maine--Local tabby cat, Jeff, finally found the most comfortable place on earth putting an end to a centuries-long, species-wide search. "At first it was just a pile of warm laundry on a Tempurpedic mattress," Said Jeff's adopted Mother, Michelle....
Washington-- In a recent memo, Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, ordered the immediate implementation of a 'casual Friday' policy for all employees of The Department of Justice. "It's been a fun change of pace. I'll tell you that." Said Attorney...
Washington— As senate democrats lambasted the republican’s newly unveiled health care legislation at Monday’s filibuster, Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, was clearly enraptured in what appeared a long-awaited sexual fantasy. As the democrats recounted the many ways the bill...