Saturday, September 19, 2020
New York— After months of failed attempts, Fox Anchor, Tucker Carlson successfully held a fart through the 8 o’clock time slot Friday. “It wasn’t easy.” Said Fox Producer, Phil Stockwell. “You could really see the strain in his face....
Huntington, West Virginia- In a rare showing of political courage, Governor Jim Justice announced plans to switch to the Republican Party in his increasingly conservative state of West Virginia. The billionaire mining magnate and former Democrat made his announcement alongside...
Washington- Following a full pardon by The President, an emboldened Joe Arpaio encountered new legal troubles during a scheduled visit to The White House, after attempting to detain The First Lady on suspicion of residing in the country illegally. While...
After a last-ditch effort to repeal key parts Obamacare was shot down in a dramatic late-night vote in July, congressional Republicans are reportedly eying a new health care strategy: Maintain and Rename. Leading the effort are Senators Dean Heller...
Washington- Moments after expressing his frustration with Senate Democrats' refusal to "engage in a serious way" in the Senate's recent health care effort, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnel was blown off The Senate Floor by a massive thunderbolt cast...
Washington— As senate democrats lambasted the republican’s newly unveiled health care legislation at Monday’s filibuster, Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, was clearly enraptured in what appeared a long-awaited sexual fantasy. As the democrats recounted the many ways the bill...
Milford, CT- Following a recent nail clipping, sources confirmed local cat, Susan Brooks, is still holding a grudge. However, local authorities believe the days-long grudge is subsiding, after reports that Susan is no longer starving herself in attempt to shun...
Kensington, CA- After ascending a teetering pile of cookbooks perched on a top kitchen shelf, local cat Derek's plans to bathe in the highest, least-stable location in his entire house were cut short when a sudden movement sent the cookbooks...
Great Update reporter, Josh Freeman, recently sat down with Dan Heller and Eric Armond, to discuss the launch of their Anti-Social Media Platform, "Hermit". The following is an excerpt from their conversation.  Josh Freeman: So first off, anti-social media, where did...