Friday, December 13, 2019
Washington--Surrounded by reporters and Republican legislators gathered in celebration the passage of the H.R. Res. 63 "Disposal of Excess Land" bill, a relaxed, jovial President Trump made several lighthearted jokes about suppressing the media before "blindly pawing around his...
Huntington, West Virginia- In a rare showing of political courage, Governor Jim Justice announced plans to switch to the Republican Party in his increasingly conservative state of West Virginia. The billionaire mining magnate and former Democrat made his announcement alongside...
La Mesa, CA- Looking to take his physical fitness to the next level, gym rat hopeful, Glenn Reinhardt, recently acquired a giant, sloshing jug of neon liquid. "It was the natural next step." Said Reinhardt. "I basically found a...
Great Update reporter, Josh Freeman, recently sat down with Dan Heller and Eric Armond, to discuss the launch of their Anti-Social Media Platform, "Hermit". The following is an excerpt from their conversation.  Josh Freeman: So first off, anti-social media, where did...
Washington- Intending to swiftly end Donald Trump's presidency, California Representative, Brad Sherman (D-CA), introduced an article of impeachment to the Republican-held House of Representatives, assuring his constituents: "Trust me. This will definitely work." "I just can't believe nobody's thought of this yet."...
After a last-ditch effort to repeal key parts Obamacare was shot down in a dramatic late-night vote in July, congressional Republicans are reportedly eying a new health care strategy: Maintain and Rename. Leading the effort are Senators Dean Heller...
Washington- Following a full pardon by The President, an emboldened Joe Arpaio encountered new legal troubles during a scheduled visit to The White House, after attempting to detain The First Lady on suspicion of residing in the country illegally. While...
Washington- Moments after expressing his frustration with Senate Democrats' refusal to "engage in a serious way" in the Senate's recent health care effort, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnel was blown off The Senate Floor by a massive thunderbolt cast...
Washington- A leaked document from The White House shows President Trump originally drafted five statements on the violence in Charlottesville before finally offering his insincere condolences in a poorly worded tweet. See The President's five initial responses below.