Saturday, September 19, 2020
Kensington, CA- After ascending a teetering pile of cookbooks perched on a top kitchen shelf, local cat Derek's plans to bathe in the highest, least-stable location in his entire house were cut short when a sudden movement sent the cookbooks...
Keene, NH-  With the 2017 television season rapidly approaching, local graphic designer, Pete Holden, has begun preparations to achieve a lifelong goal: complete a TV marathon. For the past six weeks, Holden has rigorously trained his mind, body, and spirit...
Kittery, Maine--Local tabby cat, Jeff, finally found the most comfortable place on earth putting an end to a centuries-long, species-wide search. "At first it was just a pile of warm laundry on a Tempurpedic mattress," Said Jeff's adopted Mother, Michelle....
Milford, CT- Following a recent nail clipping, sources confirmed local cat, Susan Brooks, is still holding a grudge. However, local authorities believe the days-long grudge is subsiding, after reports that Susan is no longer starving herself in attempt to shun...
Washington- Facing widespread national backlash and flagging support within his own party, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced plans Tuesday to delay The Senate health care vote until after his summer molt. The untimely molt, which top aide, Jennifer Wiesman,...
Washington- Following the President's decision to rescind the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program with a 6-month delay, Paul Ryan, in an official statement to DACA recipients, promised swift inaction from The House of Representatives. "We're going to drag this out as...
Washington--Surrounded by reporters and Republican legislators gathered in celebration the passage of the H.R. Res. 63 "Disposal of Excess Land" bill, a relaxed, jovial President Trump made several lighthearted jokes about suppressing the media before "blindly pawing around his...
Huntington, West Virginia- In a rare showing of political courage, Governor Jim Justice announced plans to switch to the Republican Party in his increasingly conservative state of West Virginia. The billionaire mining magnate and former Democrat made his announcement alongside...